When I was a little girl, I would walk hand in hand with my father I would look up at him and I could feel the love he had for me. My dad would brush my hair in the evenings and use each stroke to teach me how to count. First to one hundred and then to two hundred. He rubbed my feet every day. It was our time to bond and decompress after a long day, he massaged my feet daily for hours sometimes because they hurt, and he wanted to help me feel better. He came home after a long day at work and often made dinner for our family. My dad was legally blind and so he wasn’t able to drive. 

My dad started at the hospital as a janitor and slowly worked his way up to the head of the engineering. He took classes on weeknights and weekends to move up in the hospital. He built us a playhouse that was two stories, he would ride us on his bike when we were young. His Schwann ten speed had a rack on the back and my little brother would sit on that rack, close to him and I would wrap myself around my brother and ride carefully to hold my legs and feet on the bar that strapped that rack to the bike...as to not get caught up in the bike wheels. He rode us like this plenty, to get home and to school along the highway. We had a big acre garden, we had horses and a pumpkin patch. My father was a hard worker, he was kind and gentle, firm and protective. He was a good provider and very much felt it was his duty to hold space for everyone in our family to thrive.

My parents were married until I was 4, they separated and divorced. They had trouble and fought. I was there watching, with my little brother. They reconciled, and remarried each other when I was eight. I was the flower girl at their wedding, my little brother was the ring bearer. Both of them confided in me, I remember thinking how silly it was to fight with someone you love. My parents were passionate and would disagree, they were stubborn and could hold onto things that seemed to become more of an issue than it was even worth, and they would always seem to find a reason to work it out and to come back to love. I admired that.

My mother was a bit more wild, she had opinions, she was smart, fun and playful. My mother would take us out on nature walks as she called them, and we regularly went out into the hills and country often on horse back, sometimes for days other times, weeks. She taught me how to cross a river with a horse, how to get back on a horse after I’d been thrown off. She taught me How To, do all the things. Her father was a cowboy, weathered and dark from the sun. My mom was a woman of many talents and she was very into DYI projects. If she wanted a couch upholstered she would learn how to, she had a confidence in herself to get things done.

Mom was very into architecture and interior design, so when dad went back to school to advance his career she went to the University of Idaho and did her masters in Architecture and Psychology. She created a roof top garden on the roof of the hospital for her thesis. She built planter boxes and created garden spaces where the patients could interact with the garden, feel the soil, and be in touch. Patients planted in the garden and she measured their pain levels and symptoms. She also worked at the Idaho Geological Survey and loved maps and geology. We had horses we would take out into the wilderness, and she would teach us how the earth had taken shape. She would read to us from books about the rock formations and water that had created the present day area, and she was so fascinated in the earth’s design. How forces moved mountains.

I learned from my parents, my family. I love them, they shaped me. They are both still alive, and these years have brought them to the relaxation phase of life.They made me who I am today, and I am grateful to be in their family line. Because of my mother I have a confidence in my pioneering mind. I like to think about new efficient, playful ways of doing things. I am an innovator. Thank You Mother. My father had disabilities that didn’t stop him. He forged ahead and worked diligently towards his goals. His mind was always fixated on finding the solution, Thank You Father. I look back on the positive attributes of my mother and father and I feel grateful to have had such incredible models of how to be. With their humanness and flaws, they have been supportive and nurturing, and with their love they have taught me.

They are my roots, there have been times when I was hurt by their actions, words and deeds. I developed patterns of behavior based upon what was modeled to me, by them. They were salt of the earth people, I started working for them when I was old enough to pick up a broom. I watched them, their way of being, and did my best to emulate their best qualities and notice their humanness, those flaws. And while accepting, do my best to weed the garden and work at letting go what they passed on to me.

I have been raised, I have traits and qualities and as much as my parents did to shelter me from the world and their own shortcomings... As children we are like sponges.

When I was 5, I drowned and died. I was clinically dead for 45 minutes. I was resuscitated at the hospital and flown to a larger hospital where I lay in a coma for 3 days. During this time I was taken to the stars. I was flown there, on a white winged horse. A pegasus. A man whom I associate as Angel Michael reached out his hand to me and put me on the back of his horse, we flew over my body and over my house and into the stars. I was brought to a circle of angels. Star beings that were made of constellations. They were neither male or female, they were love. They sang, and sing on for eternity in tones and colors so beautiful that all vibrations are of an eternal knowing that this is where we come from, this is where we return to and this is home. Home resides in this forever love that is likened to water, that is flowing and pure. We sang in the stars for eternity. We are one without any hesitation or separation. We are love, and this is home. And this is the ultimate truth.

When I returned to earth, I had a very intense visceral experience. Because I had experienced such lightness, oneness, weightlessness, the earth realm seemed a much denser reality. Things seemed harder, thicker, rougher and more intense. I had water in my lungs for some time and so I had trouble taking a full breath. I had a hard time being on the planet in ways. I had anxiety attacks, and the vision, this dream experience that I had when I went away and died, was forgotten. I felt lost and vacant. I had a feeling of not being able to breath or catch my breath and it seemed the more I focused on it, the more illusive a full breath was. I was scared, as a young girl. And I think this level of fear was heightened by my death experience. I could easily leave my body and astral project, and I wanted to revisit where I had been, so briefly consumed by and then asked to leave. I felt rejected by heaven and God and not very at home here on earth. People and their mental states and emotions seemed quite the opposite of what I had experienced in the sky world. I felt like a world bridge to heaven. Like I was trying to bring the stars to the people. I wanted so much for people to know the exquisite beauty of this oneness, this love and I realized how much I needed to reconnect to this love.

Because I could leave my body easily, I would... and this would lead to accidents. I found that I needed to be here now, and started to study from others who could understand my experience and guide me back into my body. My mother during the drowning would not leave my side. She said the doctors wanted to give me drugs and that when I came back from death that I was convulsing on the metal table. She wanted to scoop me up and hold me, and they would not let her. I was convulsing on the table and their idea of healing was to give me drugs. She would not let them. She stayed in the hospital and in that room and refused to give me medications. She wanted me to have a chance to wake up.

When we have accidents and injury, it is natural to want to leave. To ignore, deny or resist the intensity of the pain or suffering we feel. Pain is an opportunity to call us to our home, the body. When I started coming home to my body I began to face into the sensations that I was trying so desperately to avoid. I began to breathe and learn how to follow my breath, I began to meditate and get in touch with my internal world, and learn to be present with my thoughts and emotions. I returned to my voice to sound and sing, to call in the information the beings shared with me on my visit. I started to call upon the life forces that are available to us. When we move our bodies, when we receive intentional touch by wise healers, we have access to our deeper truths, to our essence nature. This truth can be felt in the whole body, in our cells. We can heal, regenerate and renew, it all happens right here, in your body.

This is the calling, to be of service to this community, and I offer this service to you.

In Gratitude.

Myofascial Release is a gentle non-invasive specialized form of bodywork that treats the muscular fascial system. MFR treats your symptoms at their source. I work with people who want to stay in great shape and use MFR as preventative medicine. I work with athletes who want to stay at the top of their game. I work with people who have acute or chronic injuries, who want to get superior results and get back to doing what they love.

Myofascial Release treats severe conditions and we find you amazing results. If you have pain, inflammation, swelling, immobility...

Treat Your body right, with Myofascial Release.

Angela Rose works in Grass Valley at Sol Bodyworks. She helps people recover, so they can live their best lives.