What if We Were Always Good Enough? 

We have a tendency from birth to develop, we originated from a single cell and developed in the embryonic state to build our entire organism in miniature form. Essentially helpless, we relied on our caretakers to love, hold and care for us. We came up, and learned how to creep, crawl, stand and walk. And some of us had difficult births, challenges in the process, we may have been rushed to stand, we may not have crawled long enough to develop the proper alignment, strength and flexibility in our hips because sometimes parents want to see us stand and walk so early. Sometimes we are rushed through our development, or we are told and shown things, (or not) that may have been too much or too little for us at the time.

Children who are rushed to walk usually stand more on the balls of their feet, walking on their tip toes. Walking with more weight in the front of the foot: the musculature in the top side of the foot and front of the calf, the knee and the quadriceps, leads to a disproportionate amount of strength in the front of the legs.

Developing can be an awkward series of transitions. As we grow from infants to children and children into young women and men, we see certain parts of our body grow faster than others. In puberty and adolescence the body can change quickly or slowly and these developments can be influenced by our circumstances, our environment, by our behaviors. Including habits: learned and unconscious patterns of movement.

I have a client who when she got to the heart of what her body was feeling she found, she could never be good enough. And she learned this over many years, from her caregiver. Her mom wanted her feet to be small. In her culture this represented the feminine. And so for all the times that she remembered as she grew up she was trying to force her feet to be smaller than they were. Her feet were still crying, because no matter what they did they were not good enough for her mother. And so her feet got put into smaller shoes and whenever they were out, they needed to be different. And as a girl she internalized this attitude and behavior. And her feet tried with all their might to confine themselves. And they did, they are tight and constricted, her toes are still cramped and pent up. She has been running a story that was programmed by her mother’s insecurities.

And I know this oh so well. The discontent of a mother can wreak havoc on a young woman or young man’s self esteem, or a father’s. Disapproval by either parent can have significant effects on the development of a child. Including posture, alignment, balance, coordination and proprioception.

I will always remember the man who’s shoulder was up by his ear, my teacher gave him several treatments and it was when he remembered his teenage years when his drunk dad would be sitting on the couch and he’d come home from school, to get to his bedroom he had to pass his father through the living room. His father would yell and scream at him and he would sometimes throw beer bottles. He lifted his shoulder to duck and take cover, and it had been elevated to his shoulder ever since his childhood, when he was in his fifties.

Lee Joseph walked him through the abyss of his childhood where his body had adapted to his environment. And all the well of feelings that stormed up were held in the loving field of awareness. He had finally found a safe space to unpack the trauma his father had inflicted. Lee held him in loving patient kindness without any judgement, in full compassion. He was able to see his father, he was able to find forgiveness and compassion for him and finish the unfinished business that his body was storing for the right time, to heal. When he was able to recognize where the elevation from the shoulder had come from, he was able to release the holding that had frozen his shoulder in another time. His shoulder dropped and remained inches lower from that day forward.

We hold experiences in our bodies, and sometimes our bodies are trying to tell us, through the language of sensation, to slow down, to take it easy, I’m trying to hold everything up, together or push it away, for you. And once you realize the pain is a signal to slow down, breathe and acknowledge what you have really been through, transformation can occur.

Once we hold ourselves in awareness—a place where we are good enough—then we can process the untruths that are still governing the body. Maybe then we will stop pushing ourselves so hard, we can honor our limits and boundaries. We can take the time and receive the care to really be with the depths of ourselves and be able to truly let go.

I offer Presence Centered Awareness Therapy during sessions so that these experiences that are held within the tissues can be offered attention, care and ultimately liberation. Once we are held in a safe space and cared for, unprocessed experiences that may have developed into limiting beliefs, come to the surface. From the perspective of love, these sensations, thoughts and feelings can be efficiently processed and transformed. Believe in your healing and in the power of love. True unconditional love is great enough to move mountains, gentle enough to whisper on the wind.

I am forever grateful to my teachers who have held me in high regard, in the most unconditional love that I have ever felt. I’ve lived on Kauai for 8 years with Lee Joseph studying and then teaching at the Pacific Center for Awareness and Bodywork. I’ve done Craniosacral for infants and mothers, been to Thailand to learn Thai massage, Zen Shiatsu, Reik Qi Kong and Tai Chi. I have learned Myofascial balancing and joint decompression and I’ve been to MFR I, II, Unwinding, Cervical Thoracic, Fascial Pelvis and MFR Woman’s Health. I see so much pain relief and significant positive structural change with Myofascial Release and I am able to use all of the principles and techniques from my training.

My name is Angela Rose, I am a Myofascial Release Therapist and an Injury Specialist. I work with you to feel good in your body and address your concerns and questions to help you figure out what’s going on in your unique body. I help correct postural deviations and solve for chronic pain patterns. By releasing fascial restrictions Myofascial Release effectively treats inflammation, immobility and pain. Myofascial Release is a specialized bodywork technique that treats your muscular and fascial systems. The muscular and fascial systems systematically relate and influence each other. I work with those suffering from sciatica, herniated discs, pinched nerves, compressed vertebrae, spondylosis, fractures, breaks, kyphosis, migraine, vertigo, scoliosis, spinal cord injuries, spinal fusions, hip and knee and shoulder replacements, foot and ankle injuries, bunions, hysterectomies, cescarians, recovering from birth, prolapses, leg pain and numbness, neuropathy, pelvic imbalances, etc. I practice MFR Myofascial Release because I get incredible results.